Friday my husband accessed it for the first time and he said it was impossible to miss. What a relief!
We have had so many problems with "Christian's" port and the fact that he struggles with a horrible fear of needles does not make infusing easy. Having a new, higher profiled port was the only answer and I am so relieved that it is healing beautifully. I am looking forward to accessing the port within the next few days. It has been at least two years since I have been comfortable accessing my son. It has been hit and miss but having lost a great amount of "control" over my son's care has been difficult.
It amazes
me that ten days ago my son had surgery. He spent the weekend playing in his
new "Ninja" costume and tonight enjoyed a leisurely bath without his
port accessed…completely free of a needle :)
I don't think I would bounce back as quickly…most adults don't.
Surgery is
serious stuff. It's never
"routine". When you send
someone you love off to surgery and they are loopy from the medicine or already
sleeping, the seriousness sometimes does not set it quickly. Last week my son cried as he was wheeled away
from me and his Dad. That's never
happened and it left me doubting the choices we had made.
Often
times those of us affected by chronic illness seem to shrug off the seriousness
of a situation. Maybe it's a defensive
mechanism…or just plain fear. It's
almost as if we become "numb" but not because we don't care, it's
because we care so much that it physically hurts.
We move
forward trying to make the best decisions we can with what we have…that is all
we can do. Don't doubt yourself.
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