My stomach turned

For about two years my son, Caeleb, was in a wheelchair.  He was able to use a walker in the house and sometimes in his classroom, but if you have ever seen a child use a walker, it breaks your heart.  I don't know why I could handle seeing him in his wheelchair without any issue, but the walker...not so much.

Last week Caeleb was playing outside without his shoes on (because he's never been told to wear shoes outside....yeah, right).  A nail got the bottom of his heel and my husband had to take him to the emergency room for a tetanus shot.  When he came home he was hobbling quite a bit and took out his walker.

My stomach completely fell out of my body.  For a second I thought back to those years of wheelchairs and walkers and it was like a horrible flashback.  He managed to get where he was going and I put the walker away.

Sometimes when we are in the middle of the worst of the worst with hemophilia we can't see the "forest for the trees."  We forget that things will eventually get better.  But on the other hand when things are going so well for such a long time, we get complacent in our thinking and forget how bad things can get.

At least I have gotten better about not worrying about what might happen anymore.  We have to take each day and do the best we can.  And hopefully we'll have more days without hemophilia being the center of our lives.