Inhale...Exhale

It has been a long time since I have been comfortable accessing my son's port.  For the past two years he has been dealing with PTSD and a port that just didn't work well.  He would put up a physical fight and be in hysterics with the whole process.

 

Inhale.

Now, my son is in a different place and accessing has become routine.

When you have been accustomed to having a certain amount of control with accessing a port or a vein and infusing when needed if you lose that ability and it is devastating.  You feel lost.  I am not a control freak but I do like to know that I can handle things.  And when my son is having a bleed and I have to depend on someone else to access his veins, it is stressful and scary.

His new port is working great!  He is cooperating and has a sense of control.

 

Exhale.

I knew this time would come and there are moments I think back to even just a couple of months ago and realize that our world was completely different! 

Things can sure change quickly.  For months and months we struggled with his treatment and now that we are on the other side and able to breathe a little easier it's almost like a dream…a really bad dream.

You just have to hang on. 

Tight.

And never let go.